What’s Up on Linda’s Mind

By Linda Benfield

In this life we will always have problems. No one escapes the day to day challenges. If we are not careful to stay positively focused, we will end up in bondage. Bondage is anything that chains up your emotions and joy.  The Lord said nothing would be impossible for you with God, if we only believe.

“The Lord is our Shepherd and we shall not want,“ Psalm 23:1.  Do we believe that? He leads us in pathways of righteousness, but here is the rub. He leads, but we do not follow. We think we have a better idea of what we want life to be.

Our parents nurture, love us and protect us.  Then, when we learn to walk we start to go our own way, but they lead us back on the right track until we start noticing things and start to think for ourselves. No matter what our childhood was like, we still have a mind of our own. We have no control over who our parents are, but as we mature we have control over how we handle ourselves. We often blame anyone we can for the mistakes and faults we have when it is all a choice. No matter what has gone on in our lives, we should look to the Lord and claim what He has for us and choose to do the right thing in every situation.

Dwelling on ourselves and our problems often causes addictions of self-medicating with drugs and alcohol, which only makes us unhappy and stagnate in being productive and pleasant.  There are very few who fulfill their destiny.  Jesus says we do religious things, but neglect the hurting and needy. (Matt. 23:23) Ask yourself: “What am I doing today to help someone and put a smile on their face?” If we can just keep our minds off ourselves and reach out to others, we will see progress.

Life is like a roller coaster ride, there are twists and turns, peaks and valleys, and it all makes the ride exciting. We may scream and hold our arms up with anxious anticipation as the ride will make some sick, some afraid and some hilariously happy, but in the end we will roll into the station and exit safely.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. (Ps. 23:6) Now that’s a promise!

Cast off those bondage chains and have a great day!

“Life” is an Adventure, and the best is yet to come!

What’s Up on Linda’s Mind

By Linda Benfield

Why is it that whenever you try to warn someone of an impending danger as a result of their actions they retaliate with the statement “don’t judge me”?  Is that the same statement they use when a trooper stops them on the interstate to warn them of their excessive speed? This defense is an easy way for one to avoid the issue and tell you to mind your own business.

Today’s society does not want to be held responsible for their actions. It must have started in the sixties when the common phrase was “if it feels good, do it”, and they did. We have become a bit more conservative about some things since then, but most people are going to defend whatever vice they have by using this judgment phrase.

I’ve thought about it and tried to find a way to separate being judgmental or just concerned. It is judgmental if you think about the actions of another and harbor negative thoughts about it in your mind which is feeling a sense of pride about yourself and/or if you talk about it to others instead of having a one on one confrontation with the one doing the act. It is not being judgmental when you warn someone of your concern about the consequences of their actions.

At what age to you stop telling someone not to do something because it will be harmful to them? For example: If you tell a friend that you notice they are drinking way too much, that is a warning for their own good, not judgment. If however, you notice their excessive drinking and think how wrong they are in doing it and say nothing, or tell someone else about it, you are being judgmental and prideful. It is necessary to hold others accountable, or there would be chaos. If you think about it that is what our world is becoming chaotic; because we do not want to hold others accountable for their actions. We would rather stay out of their business and just gossip about it to others instead.

So the next time you see someone do something that is harmful, just lovingly tell them of your concern. They my tell you to mind your own business, or that you are judging them, but don’t let that bother you. Just tell them you care about them and wanted them to know that you noticed and felt like you should warn them. Don’t talk about it to others, just tell them and let it go. You will have a clear conscience and they will think about what you said and it may be just what they need to start to use a little self-control.

The Bible consistently tells us not to criticize people by gossiping or making rash judgments. At the same time, however, we are to deal with sin that can hurt others.

All things may be lawful for me, but all things are not beneficial and we should not be dominated by anything. (1Cor.6:12)

Life Is An Adventure, And The Best Is Yet To Come!

What’s Up on Linda’s Mind

By Linda Benfield

I was shopping in a Lowe’s store a couple weekends ago and noticed that my husband was standing in the middle of the aisle where others could not easily pass.  I told him he was not up on his in store etiquette.  Now etiquette doesn’t mean as much to him as it does to me, but I felt compelled to tell him that he needed to improve on his behavior while shopping.  He just looked at me and went on with what he was doing, but I told him that I noticed a lot of people needed some in store etiquette too, so I was going to write about it.  I don’t know if anyone pays attention to my suggestions but it is something to think about.

When shopping in one of those big stores where you have a cart that you can load up and spend lots of time and money, there are a few things you should know.  Not everyone there has a lot of time.  Some just run in for a few things and need to get it done in a hurry.  We should treat those aisles just like the road, and stay to the right and pull over if you need to stop.  There are people coming both ways, and it is very frustrating to be behind someone who is walking like they are totally oblivious of their surroundings or on their cell phone or the ones who stop in the middle of the isle and talk to someone they know.   Just be considerate.  I run into people I know almost every time I shop.  I try to pull my cart as far to the side as possible, or I go to the end of the aisle where people can pass.

If you pick up something and decide later that you don’t want to buy it, don’t just leave it where you are. Take it back where it belongs.  I have seen people put a pack of chicken in the paper aisle.  That is just not cool.  If you drop something and it breaks, find someone who works there to let them know.  It is too easy for someone else to slip and fall after you disappear.  If you have young children, please watch them and don’t walk away with them in the cart. They may try to climb out and come after you.

The time to check out should be handled right also.  If you have 30 items in your cart, don’t try to squeeze in the express lane.  Be kind to the cashier, they stand on their feet all day, and deal with all types of personalities.  Smile and greet them and thank them.  If you forget something, don’t let everyone in line stand there waiting for you to run and get it.  If the store is really crowded and people are in line and you have something that is not priced, lay it aside and take care of it later.  Treat every situation with the courtesy you expect.

Paying does not mean you are off the hook. When you take the cart out to your car, do the same thing as inside.  Stay to the right so cars can pass.  When you empty your cart take it to the cart corral.  Never leave a cart sitting where you are done with it.  It can take off and crash into a car or a person.  I have actually stopped an out of control cart before it hit a car, and it almost knocked me down in the process and hurt my hand.  They pick up speed and can really do some damage.  Be sure to look behind you when backing out.  So many times there is a pedestrian or a car passing behind you.  This is especially easy to miss if you are on your phone.

I know most are very considerate, but we all know those who are not.  Just be an example and try to do the best you can.  It will make you feel better about yourself when you do the right thing.

Life is an Adventure, and the best is yet to come!

What’s Up on Linda’s Mind

By Linda Benfield

“But when the blade was sprung up, and brought forth fruit, then appeared the tares also.” Matt.13:26

While driving one day we passed a piece of property that was once a beautifully landscaped community golf course. It was sad to see all the weeds and briars that covered the rolling hills. It had closed a short time ago due to the economy, and the new growth just seemed to come from nowhere.

I immediately thought of what Jesus told us in the parable about the man who sowed good seed in his field; but while they slept, the enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat. His servants were shocked to see all the weeds grow up with the wheat and asked if they should gather them up. He said to let them grow together lest they uproot the good with the bad till harvest time when they would be separated.

In our life, the enemy has sown bad seed all around us. It tries to choke the life out of us or smother us till we are too weak to be any good. Believers and unbelievers have to live side by side in this world. Left unattended we become overgrown and covered up with burdens till we are nearly unrecognizable. We have to maintain a healthy spiritual life style to avoid this from happening. That is why it is important to have a church family and a place where you can be fed and strengthened. A rolling stone gathers no moss, so we have to stay active so not to become stagnate. Reading God’s Word nourishes us and keeps us close to Him. We need Christian friends for encouragement, and we need to do our part being available for those who need encouragement.

There are poisonous vines all around just waiting to overcome us. If you notice a house that has been abandoned for some reason, it only takes a short while for it to deteriorate. Nothing has to be done to cause it; it just happens. The same thing is true with a car. If you leave it sit, it will rust and develop problems all by itself. Everything needs life in it to keep going. We need life in us, spiritual life. If we don’t feed and keep that life alive, we deteriorate just like that abandoned golf course. Don’t let it happen to you. Be on guard and when the weeds start invading your space, clear them out.

Life Is An Adventure, And The Best Is Yet To Come!

What’s Up on Linda’s Mind

By Linda Benfield

Limitations are something in our lives that are not easily accepted.   We always want to exceed the limit. The first thing that comes to mind is speed limits.  Excessive speed is only the tip of the iceberg on this subject, but it is something we all understand.  When we exceed the speed limit, we break the law.  If we are caught, there are consequences, and we usually have some excuse that we believe should give us a pass.

There are limits and boundaries on most areas of our everyday living, but like the speed limits we do not obey.  Why is that?  How many times have we said, “I know I shouldn’t eat this, but I love it”, or “I know I can’t afford it but I deserve it.”  One of the most tempting laws to break is gossip.  It takes a lot of will power to stop someone when they have a piece of information about someone else.  We all can honestly say that breaking any law causes a problem at some point.

If we can follow instructions about anything, it will always come out right. The problem starts when we alter the instructions. The temptation to push the limit is a continuing battle.  Human nature is to make life easy and comfortable.  Well, it is not comfortable when we face the consequences.

What to do with an out of control life?  STOP.  The answer is to read the instructions, and do what they say.  The solution cannot be accomplished by just knowing what to do; we have to do it. Most of us already know what the instructions tell us, but somehow we think we can do it wrong and have it come out right.  Set your limits.  We have to discipline ourselves to have a limit on just about everything.  We can deviate now and then, but we have the power to stop it from getting out of control.  Take a minute, think about it, and get back on track.

Here is the challenge for all of us: Your body will crave what you give it.  If you change what you give it, there will be a struggle, but after a while it will begin to crave the change.  Decide each morning to do what is right even if it feels wrong.  When we live by how we feel, it can lead to a destructive life.  If it feels right to have several cups of coffee and no real nourishment try to limit the coffee to one or two cups and add healthy food.  In a few days, it will feel wrong to go back to the old habit.  If it feels right to spend too much precious time doing an unnecessary task and risk being late and frustrated, decide to do the task after all the right things are done.  When someone starts telling you about what happened to so and so, change the subject and resist the temptation to know.  Develop a habit of making a list before shopping and stick to it.  Budget your money and pay all commitments first.  If you cannot afford it, do without.  This challenge will create a battle in your mind, but that is where discipline is necessary.

Any questions we may have about the right way to live are all in God’s Word.  Read it!  Study it and obey it.

God promises if we do what we can do, He will do the rest.  Two words to live by: TRUST and OBEY!

Stay within the borders of the speed limit, if in a hurry, start sooner.

What’s Up with Linda On My Mind

By Linda Benfield

It was a hot sunny Tuesday, and I was driving home from a dance class at the Senior Center when I got a phone call that changed the rest of the week.  It is amazing how one call can do that. We may have everything all planned for the day, then suddenly we are thrown a curve.  A decision has to be made about how to handle it right then and there.

Earlier that day, a very dear friend of over 20 years was awakened by a phone call. The person on the other end said they were sorry for disturbing her, but they were concerned about her son who had not shown up for work.  This was totally out of character for him, thus causing this concern.  Fear immediately gripped her heart; she knew something was wrong.  She called her two daughters to tell them and quickly dressed and drove to his home.  Panic set in as she saw his vehicle still in the drive.  He had for some reason given her a key to his home a few weeks earlier.

As she turned the knob, she knew it would be bad.  She walked in screaming his name over the sound of the fan in the room.  Adjusting her eyes to the darkness, she could only see the blue screen on the television as the movie had been exhausted.  She bent down to turn it off and found herself staring into the face of her beloved son.  He looked peacefully asleep on the sofa until she touched him.

The 911 operator kept her talking until the paramedics arrived.  Both daughters were right behind them. Following all this, I received a call from the youngest daughter.  It was such a shock, as he was only 50 years old.  He had been jovial and full of life the last time I saw him, about six weeks earlier.

When receiving news like this, we feel so bad for the family and offer words of encouragement, but often do not know what to say or do.  I was facing that dilemma when I made the decision to just go to them.  I was there with them four days.  I couldn’t do anything, but was so glad I had chosen to just be there.  I learned that when someone dies, the family just needs someone there.  It gives them comfort in knowing someone cares.

I also learned that we should always be prepared no matter your age.  Make all your wishes known before it happens.  Write down every detail of what you would want right down to the type of music and service.  Let your family know where the information is kept and the most important thing of all, assure them of where you are going.  The worst thing you can do to your loved ones is not let them know where you are.  We were all comforted and able to rejoice knowing this person had made his reservation in Heaven and would be there when we arrive.

Life is an Adventure, and the best is yet to come!

What’s Up on Linda’s Mind

By Linda Benfield

What are the thoughts behind those eyes when in a seemingly loving conversation?  It is said that the eyes are the windows of the soul, but they are not always a clean window.  I think character depends a lot on our capacity for love.  Our real character is what we are when no one is looking.

One way to develop character is to live your life like it is constantly being recorded. This is not so bizarre, since in this day and time we never know who is watching or recording.  Everything is monitored now. Think about the videos we have seen when a babysitter was unknowingly monitored and caught mistreating children.  It takes discipline to manage your character.  We should be the same in any situation whether at home or in public.  Our conversation should be the same if we are among friends or at church.  You can dress up and go to church, but only YOU know what is really inside.  “I have a short fuse, and I just can’t control my temper” is no excuse.   If you have been screaming at your spouse or children when someone from your church comes to visit, do you suddenly become calm and collected?  Have you ever been arguing with your spouse and received a phone call from an important client or friend?  If you could compose yourself at that moment, then you can do it all the time.  Self control is a real aspect of your character.

It is so disappointing to find out that someone you admire is not of the character you thought.  You may have been in a bathroom stall when your so called friends came in talking about you, or hung up from a phone conversation only to realize that you were still connected and heard the real story.  I think we have all seen someone act out of character when they did not know we were watching.  Your family knows the real you when they watch you interact with associates.  Their opinion of you should be as important as the rest of society.

A while back the phrase “what would Jesus do?” was popular. There were jewelry, t-shirts and bumper stickers to remind us of this quest.  What happened?  Was it too hard for us?  It is all a matter of character.  It begins with a heart change and desire to be like Jesus.  He is our example.  By grace we can have the character of Jesus, but we have to want it and ask for grace everyday to be of good character. We need sincere motivation.

Some do not want to be any different.  They are proud of their temper, fowl mouth, bad habits and carelessness.  Well, that is their character.  What is yours?  Whatever you choose, you must live with yourself.  We cannot escape ourselves; we have to live with what we think and do.  At the end of the day when we lay our head down we know.  Is it worth self-examination?  Some day we will all be examined, and it will all be laid out for public display.  Are you ready for that?

Life is an Adventure, and the best is yet to come!

What’s Up on Linda’s Mind

By Linda Benfield

Life is an Adventure, and the best is yet to come!

This subject should get your attention. Through 64 years of experiencing life, this is my conclusion. We put way too much importance on this life. We are here for a purpose and that purpose is to choose the right direction, learn to always do the right thing, then trust God with what we cannot do and relax and stop complaining for the best is yet to come.

Sounds simple doesn’t it? Well, it is simple. We start out learning what works and what gets us in trouble, and each person has to go through whatever it takes to learn that lesson. Instead of worrying, running away or trying to find some way around it, just face your giant. We put so much importance on our feelings and that is the barrier to freedom. We have all heard the expression: “What would Jesus do?” One thing Jesus never did was complain and worry!  Can you imagine Him doing that? He is our example, but we don’t recognize and try to emulate that trait.

When you reach my age, you can look back over the years and see all the times it looked bleak and worrisome. Now it is only like a bad dream and what was out of control for me was brought around to a victory by God. Sometimes it takes years to be able to see that, but everything works out for the best for a child of God. If we have the courage to get out of His way, He will take our mess and turn it into our message. Messengers are what we really are supposed to be in this life. We need to concentrate on helping others get through this mess and that will take our minds off ourself.

I am speaking from experience.  I have lost those closest to me suddenly, suffered financial loss and a myriad of other traumas, but God carried me through each fire. I have been in the place where I didn’t know what to do and found out that it is when you are helpless that you let God work. We shouldn’t wait until everything falls apart to depend on God. We have all heard or said the phrase “all we can do is pray”. That should always be the first thing we do, then let God guide us to the next thing.

This is not our home; we are only here for a season. We are soldiers in a battle here on Earth, and no one knows how long we have, but we do know we win. Would a soldier sit around and feel sorry for himself on the battle field? He wouldn’t last long if he did, and we won’t last long before the enemy catches us off guard and devours us. We came with nothing and we leave the same way, so why stress over stuff? Keep life simple and enjoy it. Each day we are given is a new opportunity. Don’t waste time with pity parties, feelings and frivolous living.

God is in control and we have to learn to trust Him and do what He put us here to do. Jesus came so that we would have an abundant life. Abundant means to reap a harvest. So continue to press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Phil. 3:14.

What’s Up on Linda’s Mind

By Linda Benfield

Another holiday has just passed. Mother’s Day came and went like all the other occasions we mark as special days. I had a quiet one. My children were either in another state or working. I could have spent the day with my husband’s family, as they had a big day for all the mothers, but I decided to spend it with him. We went camping in the woods for one night.

You can do a lot of thinking when you are in the woods with nothing to do but listen to the sounds of the wild. No phone, computer or television. Can you do it ?? I thought about how much time, effort and money is spent on all the delegated special days. Feelings are the major cause. Mother’s Day, for example, causes children to feel guilty if they don’t do something special, and Mother’s feel unloved if something isn’t done. It is nice to celebrate, but don’t feel left out if you omit celebrating any holiday. Sometimes our family recognizes those occasions at another time of the month. That way you avoid the inflated prices and crowds. Of course, we do the traditional thing at the right time too, but it is not critical that it be done every time. Sometimes it is just fun to go against the flow.

Getting back to camping, I suggest you try it once in a while. It is good to be one on one with someone even if it is just yourself. Jesus gave us that example of getting away to himself to commune with the Father. It is also good practice to learn how to survive on just the basics.  There may come a time when it will be necessary and not planned. There are disasters happening at a rapid pace and world affairs are certainly ominous as well. You will really have a feeling of accomplishment when you catch a fish, clean it and cook it over the fire! Have you ever tried it? That should be one of the things on your bucket list if you have not. Why not go a little further and find the night crawlers for bait!

It will do you good to wake up and take a brisk walk to the bath house and shower while the coffee perks over the open fire. Then actually sit around and look at each other while you cook breakfast and talk. What a concept!! Now don’t go dragging all kinds of snacks and sodas along. Stick with mostly water and juice and coffee. Fresh fruit and vegetables are good, and there are lots of things you can grill over an open fire. The idea is to see how simple you can make it.

I have to confess that we have a small camper with a little kitchen and restroom and comfortable bed, but I have done the tent thing. Unless it is necessary I prefer the camper. Either way, it is an adventure to just get away from the rat race and live on the land.

Life is an Adventure, and the best is yet to come!

What’s Up with Linda On My Mind

Linda Benfield

Life is an Adventure, and the best is yet to come!

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I love to go out to lunch. I like it so much that when my friend and I tried to implement some church visitation on Fridays and had a hard time getting permission to come to the home, we thought they may come out to lunch and when we asked, they came. Thus the Lunch Bunch was created. We have been doing this for a couple years and it has proven to be a great way to get to know members of church in a more intimate way.

The group meets around 11:30am at a different restaurant every Friday. Some times we may only have 3 or 4 but have had as many as 15. We have some different women each week and often meet new ones who have been invited. It is always exciting to meet a new face. We usually only spend a little over an hour together, but during that time we share any experience or information that may help one of the others. I have never left a luncheon without learning something useful. Occasionally the lunch date spills out into the surrounding area to shop, or just walk around and explore. The main thing we have learned is the low down on just about every restaurant in the immediate and some of the neighboring areas of Gaston County. We occaisionally take a “road trip” to Charlotte, Shelby or South Carolina. There are a few establishments we enjoy so much that we return often.

No matter the dining experience, restaurant etiquette should be applied. We have all had long waits, wrong food, improper charges and unhappy waitresses. No matter the circumstance it is not a good witness to complain, complain, complain. If it is a bad experience, pay the bill and don’t go back. There is nothing worse than to be a complaining, demanding and cheap patron! In most cases the waitress is not the problem. There may be problems in the kitchen or an overload of customers or just some demanding party that takes too much of their time.

I hate to say this, but some of the most difficult patrons are church groups. Lunch time on Sunday in most restaurants is a nightmare for the employees. They have the restaurant fill up at one time and everyone wants everything now and it better be right, and needs like “I need more lemon, can we have more bread, or this is not what I ordered”, and they leave very little for the tip, or worse, no tip because they feel like they were disappointed. NEVER LEAVE A TRACT IN PLACE OF THE TIP!!! I have actually seen this done.

Please take note of this: When you are about to order, stay off the cell phone, just like when driving, you cannot order properly while trying to carry on a conversation over the phone. It is extremely rude. If you can’t afford to eat out and tip accordingly then eat at home, or at a fast food restaurant. Waitresses only make about $2.00 an hour and work very hard. They have side work that the patrons don’t realize, they have to keep everyone happy and have no control over the kitchen. If there is a complaint, it should be directed to the manager. But be realistic if the restaurant is full, it will not always go like you expect. Bottom line, make the best of it and if you are not happy, tip the waitress and encourage her, then you have the option of a return.

The next time you go out to eat, put on a good attitude, and be a pleasure to serve. Bon appetit!