What’s Up with Howard Black

By The Grace Of God And Constitutionally Guaranteed, Howard Black Pokes Fun At The Realities Of Life, Politics And Human Insanity!

Davey Crockett and I are pissed-off!  I have often said that the government understands that it doesn’t have the authority or capability of taking guns from American citizens.  But, they also understand that the next logical step would be to eliminate the production of ammunition.  Stopping the production of affordable ammunition would achieve the same purpose as eliminating guns, and would be easier to accomplish. The EPA was recently issued a petition by the wacko environmentalists from the Center for Biological Diversity (CBD) and the American Bird Conservancy asking for the manufacturing and distribution of lead shots, bullets and fishing sinkers to be stopped!

The CBD blames the lead used by hunters and anglers for causing the deaths of approximately 130 species of birds and eagles, while the NRA claims these statistics are not true and cites the increase of American Eagles as proof to counter the claim. The NRA argues that the EPA is not allowed to regulate ammo or fishing lures under the Toxic Substances Control Act (TSCA), yet the EPA is still taking it into consideration.

Lead is the most widely used material for making bullets, shots and sinkers and the NRA fears that a ban on lead ammunition would force hunters to buy alternatives such as copper, which is often harder to find and costs nearly double.  The ban would also drive people away from the hunting and fishing altogether, and the use of alternative materials would pose an even greater threat to the environment.

The NRA also argues that the reduction in the number of hunters would in turn reduce the income from the sale of hunting licenses, which is the main source of funding for the game and fish departments.  This would also greatly impact wildlife management and cause economic loss for hunting and fishing related businesses.

While I agree with the NRA in its reasoning, this is not why this is happening.  Liberals and democrats have learned to take small steps toward an eventual goal.  This is only the first step toward the elimination of guns and ultimate control by the government to take place.

Official voting on the petition will take place November 1, 2010.  Until October 31st, the EPA is currently asking for public opinion, and you may call the Office of the Administrator of the EPA at 202-564-4700.  I also urge anyone that believes that Americans have rights that are being taken away to join the NRA today.I’m sure if Dave Crockett were alive today, he would be a member!

What’s Up with Howard Black

By Howard Black

By The Grace Of God And Constitutionally Guaranteed,

Howard Black Pokes Fun At The Realities Of Life, Politics And Human Insanity!

I have always thought that God created the world, but with the abundance of ignorant people, I am beginning to believe in “reverse evolution.”  I strongly believe some stupid people are turning back into salamanders and toads!  Anyway, if they are not…then they should.

I believe that it is my God given “right to poke fun” at stupid people, and that includes politicians and the people that vote them into office.

This year, our government will spend $31,406 per household, while at the same time only collecting $18,276 per household.  The difference of $13,130 is being financed by the Chinese and will be paid for by our children and grandchildren, and probably their children and grandchildren.  In 5 years, government spending per household has increased approximately $5,000.

What are you getting for $31,406.00?  This is where YOUR money is going:

• This year YOU will pay $550.00 for health research and regulations.

• YOU will also pay $613.00 for highways and mass transit.

• YOU will also be responsible for paying $914.00 for education.

• YOU will also fork over $1018.00 for Federal employee retirement benefits.

• Veteran’s benefits will cost YOU $1,052.00.

• The interest on our federal debt will cost YOU $1,515.00.

• YOU will also have to pay for anti-poverty programs; the total for you is only $5,466.00.

• Unemployment benefits will cost YOU $1,640.00.

• The defense of our country will cost YOU $6,071.00.

• And the granddaddy of them all, YOU will pay $9,949.00 for Social Security and Medicare

Included in this spending extravaganza is another price tag of $2,078.00 for other federal programs, such as justice international affairs, natural resources, the environment, regional development, farm subsidies, social services, space exploration, air transportation and energy.

That’s where your $31,406.00 tax bill will help pay.  If you aren’t paying your fair share, don’t worry because the Chinese will pick up the tab and bill your children and grandchildren later.

But, what is even scarier… the number of people without any income tax liability increased from 32.6 million in 2000 to 51.6 million in 2008, while the number of tax filers only grew by 10%.  At this rate, in only a few years the minority of our population will be supporting the majority, and when that happens there will be no reversing the situation.

Can you guess who will be paying, and who will be shouting “free ride?”

This country cannot continue on its present course.  It’s the responsibility of voters to change the way our politicians think and conduct business.  It’s time that we put our priority in line and realize that this country is an emergency situation.

Otherwise, our only prayer is stupid people really can turn back into salamanders and toads!

What’s Up with Howard Black

By The Grace Of God And Constitutionally Guaranteed,

Howard Black Pokes Fun At The Realities

Of Life, Politics And Human Insanity!

One of the funniest commercials on television is where the two squirrels cause a car to swerve and crash into the ditch.  For some reason I can just imagine the squirrels in my neighborhood doing the same thing.  Most neighborhoods have normal squirrels; in our neighborhood we have little gray-haired beasts.  Most have names like Duke, Butch or Rocky.  Believe me, our neighborhood squirrels can beat up your neighborhood squirrels with their tiny paws tied behind their back.

Over the years I have kept Ferguson Hardware in business purchasing trashcans.  I’m not saying that trashcans sold at Ferguson Hardware are inferior; I am just saying the squirrels are a lot tougher!  The bottom line is this, squirrels are a nuisance, and that is a reason that God made bullets.

The Arizona Department of Transportation has been given a $1.25 million grant from the Federal Highway Administration to build bridges for endangered red squirrels on Mt. Graham.  The money will be used to build canopy tunnels for the squirrels, install cameras and monitor the effects of the canopy tunnels.  According to the United States Forest Service, approximately only five squirrels per year are killed on this road each year.

In the Mount Graham area the red squirrel population has remained constant for the past ten years, but population growth was slowed due to a wildfire in 2000 that destroyed almost a quarter of their habitat.  The decreased habitat causes the squirrels to cross the road to find food in a larger area.  Less than 2% of the squirrel population becomes pavement topping each year, but our government is willing to spend $1.25 million to build bridges for these squirrels.  The road has approximately 650 cars per day.  It is projected that the best results would only add 100 squirrels over the 20 to 25 year lifespan of the bridges.

While the federal government spends $1.25 million to prevent road kill, the rest of Graham County suffers from nearly 600 miles of bad roads.   The present red squirrel population is approximately 250, and that works out to be an expenditure of our tax dollars from the federal government of about $5,000 per squirrel.

Someone is nuts here, but it ain’t the squirrels!

Here is my common sense idea.  I will buy some new trash cans from Ferguson Hardware with locking lids.  I will ship the trashcans to Mount Graham and include Duke, Butch and Rocky.  They get the squirrels, and I get the $1.25 million dollars.

What’s Up with Howard Black

By The Grace Of God And Constitutionally Guaranteed,

Howard Black Pokes Fun At The Realities Of Life, Politics And Human Insanity!

I am a taxpaying citizen and everyday I go to work.  Each year the federal, state and county government takes about fifty percent of what I earn to help pay for the education you just received.  I believe that gives me the right to tell you what I and other taxpayers expect from you.

First, and contrary to popular belief, you did NOT have any right to the education you just received; it was not guaranteed by the U. S. Constitution, nor anywhere in the Bill of Rights.  An education is a product of a benevolent society and healthy economy.  You only received this education because taxpayers could afford it.  Be thankful, and understand that you now have the same responsibility to future generations.

Contrary to what teachers and parents will tell you, the education that you received isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on.  Education isn’t about learning facts or figures; it’s about learning how to solve problems by using your brain and the materials supplied.  Your education was nothing more than a practice for real life.

As an adult in this cruel world, you will have to forget the silly notion that life must be fair.  There will always be people that will be more intelligent; others will be blessed with more things.  Some will be cuter, some will be more popular, some will be greater athletes and some will be more creative.  Learn the value of humility and don’t be jealous of what other people have.

Your adult life is a new beginning, and it is time to lose the trappings of your adolescent world.  It’s time to take out the earrings, lose the purple hair and forget about the metal in your eyebrow or nose.  As you leave the comfort of school and friends, remember that you now are part of my world, and it is up to YOU to conform, whether you like it or not.

You will begin your new life at the bottom of the totem pole.  You will probably start out like the rest of us with very little experience and a low paying job.  You’ll start out with very little, and you’ll want the things that other people have.  Not having things when you are young is a blessing, because as you grow older, it teaches the value of the things you earned during your life.

You will quickly learn that if you want the necessities and luxuries of life, then you must get off your butt and earn them.  You have the responsibility to be a productive part of this society.  You have no right to steal or take the things that I have, or any right to demand that government provide things to you, by taking from someone else.

Let me introduce you to two words, personal responsibility.  Personal responsibility is about taking care of yourself and your family.  It’s about doing your best and accepting liability for your choices.  It’s about doing what is right and learning from your mistakes.  If you are to survive in your new adult word, these two words must be the cornerstone of everything that you do.

As you proceed into your new life, always honor your country.  Learn the national anthem and be proud to sing it.  Learn the preamble to the U.S. Constitution and study what every amendment means.  Read about the 56 brave men that risked their fortunes, their families and even their lives to sign the Declaration of Independence.  Our forefathers earned the right to freedom; you on the other hand have only gained the responsibility to keep what they earned alive!

One of your biggest responsibilities as a future adult is to learn how our government works.  If you don’t know the difference between a republic and a democracy then you are not ready to graduate, have a right to vote or even own a home.  Exercising your right to vote is one of your most sacred responsibilities.

As you move into your adult life, many people will tell you to live as this is the last day you will be on earth.  I disagree.  Live life as if this was your first day on earth.  Be the infant that is opening his eyes to a new world of colors, sights and sound.  Take your first step and explore your world, learn how to challenge each thing you come upon and learn to ask “why.”

Life works in strange ways.  The diploma that you are about to receive is printed on paper, and it can easily be destroyed by fire or water, but your final diploma for life will be engraved on a piece of rock.  You are about to learn which is more important.

What’s Up with Howard Black

By The Grace Of God And Constitutionally Guaranteed, Howard Black Pokes Fun At The Realities Of Life, Politics And Human Insanity!

My wife thinks that I have fell off the turnip truck and bruised my brain.

After a very busy day yesterday, my wife and I enjoyed a late night dinner at Waffle House.  Okay, I will admit that eating at Waffle House might possibly point toward a brain dysfunction.  But, regardless of analytical thought, I still love the Waffle House.  It’s true Americana with its smoke-filled interior and uncomfortable booths.  But, in this poorly designed over-lit décor, it’s easy to find a picture postcard of what this country is about.

While we were dining, an elderly couple came in and set a few booths from us.  I noticed this couple because they both set on the same side of the booth.  As I would glance at them, I became engrossed in trying to figure out what their story was.

At first glance, you could easily mistake the couple for Archie and Edith Bunker of All In the Family.  She was dressed conservatively, similar to how you would expect Edith to dress when going out to eat.  He played the part of Archie perfectly, from the wisp of white hair to the gold ring on his right hand.  I also noticed a tattoo of a navy cross on his right forearm.

At first I thought the waitress was in for a treat.  I assumed that he would be gruff and demanding.  But, as I watched the story unfold I realized that the man had a cordial twinkle in his heart that was only masked by a gruff exterior.

I wish  I knew more of this couple’s story.  Were they a married elderly couple that was still in love, or could they have possibly been on a first date after losing their partners?  What bonded this couple so strongly that they would sit on the same side of the booth?

Some people would say that there probably wasn’t anything special about that couple I had observed.  But, there was something special.  I could tell that they came from an age of when people did what they were supposed to.  They grew up, honored their families, served their countries and raised children.  They were heroes because they did what they were supposed to do, all with no fanfare or tributes.

As we left the Waffle House, I discreetly paid for the couple’s meal, and left instructions with the waitress to tell them that I hope they had a wonderful evening.

It makes me feel good, especially in this age of overpaid athletes, intolerable television, and obnoxious entertainers that I can watch two people enjoying themselves without the drama or hype of today’s modern world.  I believe we all could remove some of the absurdity in our lives, if we simply acted more like this couple.

What’s Up with Howard Black

By The Grace Of God And Constitutionally Guaranteed, Howard Black Pokes Fun At The Realities Of Life, Politics And Human Insanity!

I’ve been getting a lot of questions about why I haven’t written any articles the past few weeks.  Let me explain what’s happening in my life.

Most of you know that I own a restaurant in Mt. Holly, North Carolina, and earlier this year we began an ambitious project of adding a larger dining room, new kitchen, new roof, new bathrooms and a pickup window.  There is no part of the restaurant that won’t be touched during the next several months of renovations.  This is a major undertaking, especially during these tough economic times

We are going to have a “show place” restaurant.  We will be the first restaurant in the United States to have an Internet radio station located in the building playing music from the 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and beach music.   Customers will be able to hear the same music being played in the dining room, but on their own computer

Some people think that I’m crazy for doing this during the present economic times.  And, that might possibly be true.

Some people think that government will solve our current economic crisis.  I choose to believe that government is the problem and not the answer.  Thomas Jefferson said, “I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of people under the pretense of taking care of them.”

Personally, I choose not to participate in this recession, because I trust in the common people that make up this great country.  It is the ordinary people that pay bills, raise families and have common-sense values that will determine our country’s destiny and economic vitality.  I neither trust, nor believe our government can do this.

Ronald Regan, the great communicator said, “All great change in America begins at the dinner table!”  There is a growing conservative movement in this country that is seeking the return of personal responsibility and demanding that our elected officials do what is right.  I see it in the people that visit my restaurant each day, people on the street and at church on Sundays.

Conservatism has gotten a bad reputation from liberals and Democrats during the last few years.  But, what the Democrat Party has always failed to realize is that being a conservative is not a label, political party or a title.  Conservatism is about what a person believes and how they live their life.

The difference between liberals and conservative thought is very simple.  Liberals believe they can change the rules of physics to make water run up hill, while conservatives make electricity by letting the water run down hill.  Liberal thought is always negative, while conservatives always think positively.

I refuse to be a victim of this recession.

What’s Up with Howard Black

By The Grace Of God And Constitutionally Guaranteed,

Howard Black Pokes Fun At Life, Politics, And Human Insanity.

The night was October 25, 1994.  The place was Union, South Carolina.  She had been driving around for the last hour trying to calm herself.   While she drove along Highway 49 in her 1990 burgundy Mazda Protégé, her two sons slept in the back seat, securely fastened in their car seats.

She arrived at John D. Long Lake, and stopped in the middle of the 75-foot gravel boat ramp.  She was only twenty-three years old, with long, sandy blond hair that she tied in a ponytail. She wore wire-rimmed glasses and was in the best physical shape she had been in since before having her two sons.

She sat quietly behind the wheel listening to the sounds of her two young sons sleeping. The oldest son had recently celebrated his third birthday, and the youngest was only fourteen months old.

She was in the middle of a divorce, and was recently rejected by her boyfriend.  She feared committing suicide because what it would do to her sons.  She felt that her life was filled with loss and rejection and that the responsibilities of being a single mother were overwhelming.  What she sought was relief from the stresses of being a mother.

She shifted the Mazda and let the car roll a few yards before she stepped on the brake.  She then pulled the emergency brake, and opened her door and stepped out of the car.  She stood outside the car, on the boat ramp looking into the darkness. At that moment in her life she made a decision that will never be forgotten.  Her actions can never be justified.

She released the emergency brake and closed the driver’s side door.  Her two sons remained asleep in the back of the car, strapped securely into their car seats.  The car slowly entered the water and bobbed slowly while filling with water.

The woman’s name was Susan Leigh Vaughan Smith.  She was charged with the murder of her two sons, 3-year old Michael Daniel Smith, and 14-month old Alexander Tyler Smith.  She was convicted on July 22, 1995 and sentenced to a minimum of 30 years.  She will be eligible for parole on November 4th, 2024.

Oddly this past week, the Scottish National Party announced it’s decision to free Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed Al Megrahi, the only person convicted of the 1988 bombing of the Pan Am Flight 103 that killed 270 people.  The Scottish National Party said the release was for humanitarian reasons.  Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed Al Megrahi, age 57, was suffering from terminal prostrate cancer.

I find it disheartening that anyone could ever be released that murdered 270 people, or two small children.  I believe that compassion doesn’t mean that murderers should be set free, even if they have a terminal illness.  General Normal Schwarzkopf was asked once if he could ever forgive Osama bin Laden, he said, “Forgiveness is up to God.  I just hope we hurry up the meeting!”

What’s Up with Howard Black

By The Grace Of God And Constitutionally Guaranteed,

Howard Black Pokes Fun At The Realities Of Life, Politics And Human Insanity

A couple of months ago, I wrote about my gardening experiment of growing tomatoes using a Topsy Turvy Tomato planter.  Here is my final report.

My Topsy Turvy Tomato planters were my excursion into where no man had gone before.  I was consumed by the excitement of television commercials and overwhelmed at the prospect of devouring large juicy tomatoes from my own homegrown vines.

Well, it’s almost the middle of August and I haven’t got one darn tomato from my Topsy Turvy Tomato planters.  Not one red globe of joy.  Not one mouthful of nature’s bounty.  The mission was a total failure.

Jerry Porter, my next-door neighbor has had more success.  His two planters have yielded tomatoes and he got to enjoy the fruits of his labors.   I’m envious of Jerry.  His efforts were validated with homegrown tomatoes and I simply have two Topsy Turvy Tomato planters that will probably end up in the trash.

Once again, I feed the worms for another year!

The reason for heartbreaking failure eluded my thinking.  At first, I thought I was over-watering, then under-watering, more fertilizer, and then less fertilizer.  Then Jerry Porter, my next-door neighbor finally enlightened me on the answer to my tomato-less state.  He explained that water wasn’t reaching the roots because they are growing upward, and the water goes downward.

But, there is good news.  The Obama Administration has announced a new tomato wealth redistribution plan that would take the overabundant bounties of good tomato growers and subsidize the lesser fortunate.    It’s a stimulating plan that would share the efforts of a few, with everyone!

Is it fair that Jerry must share his wealth with me?  I smell some rotten tomatoes here!

No, it’s not fair.  Jerry worked hard to make his tomato plants bountiful.  I didn’t have the success he did, but that doesn’t give me any right to demand that government take his.  The lesson to be learned here is simple, people should be able to keep what they earn and share what they want.

People are going to have to stop demanding that government take from one and give to another.  We don’t need socialized medicine, cash for clunkers, or government bailouts.  That is not the purpose of government or what our forefathers envisioned.

I think I’m going to send Obama a tomato plant, maybe he can learn something.

What’s Up with Howard Black

By The Grace Of God And Constitutionally Guaranteed,

Howard Black Pokes Fun At The Realities Of Life, Politics And Human Insanity

I believe that most people agree that we need to do something about health care.  The problem is that what needs to be done is the argument that this country may never agree upon.  Until we change the mind-set that healthcare is NOT a right, then this situation will never be corrected.

But, in my opinion President Obama and the Democrats in Congress have their priorities out of line.  Shouldn’t our first priority be getting the economy jumpstarted and people back to work?

The treasury department has announced that the deficit has risen to an all-time high of $1-trillion.  For every tax-paying citizen that is $3,500.  By this fall the deficit will increase to more than $6,000 per person.  Add to this a national debt of $11.5-trillion dollars, and YOU will be responsible for paying your portion of…$37,600.

But, that isn’t the worst news.  The total un-funded liabilities for the United States is approximately $60.6-trillion, which exceeds the total net worth of the country.  In other words, everything made and sold in the United States wouldn’t generate enough taxes to pay the bill for what we owe!

At this point, you will have to owe the governments of the United States and China $196,000.00.  There aren’t any exceptions, you will be expected pay your part.  Call it socialism, fascism, Marxism or whatever; we’re all going to pay the price for this extravagant spending spree.

Now think about this.  All the bad news I just gave you is BEFORE health care price tag is added to what you owe.  Are you starting to get the picture?

Now, do you want to know why Obama is pushing these stimulus and health care packages?

Obama has admitted, that if Congress doesn’t pass health care reform by the mid-term elections in 2012, he will never get another chance to ram it down the throat of the American taxpayer.  He understands that after 2012 that the Democrats will probably lose the majority and the votes to pass any legislation.

Do you wonder why he has pushed Congress to bring health care to a vote before summer recess?  He knows that the chances of getting it passed are decreased if our elected pandering politicians are allowed to return to their home districts.  Obama is playing Dirty Politics 101 by trying to silence the voters, and make his promised left-wing agenda becomes reality.

But, what really angers me about this entire ordeal is the lack of concern of taxpayers.  That’s right, I’m talking about you.  The taxpayers of this country should be ashamed for not caring more about what their politicians are recklessly doing to this country.  The common thought of people that I talk with is, “What can I do about it?  I’m only one person.”

Let me tell you what every taxpayer should be doing.  They should be writing, calling, texting, using smoke signals or sending courier pigeons with messages to their elected officials.  YOU need to be protesting this insane lack of common sense.

Ask your elected officials, (1) Why is healthcare being ramrodded through Congress when we are fiscally unable to pay our current debts?  (2) Why are illegal aliens being covered under the proposed plans?  (3) Why are members of Congress and employees of the government exempt from all of the proposals presented?  If it’s good enough for us, why isn’t it good enough for them?

I pity this country, because common sense is on a one-way trip to crazy town.

Call Your Representatives and Let Them Know How You Feel:

Kay Hagan (202) 224-6342

Richard Burr (202) 224-3154

Patrick McHenry (202) 225-2576

Sue Myrick (704) 867-2445

What’s Up With Howard Black

By The Grace Of God And Constitutionally Guaranteed, Howard Black

Pokes Fun At The Realities Of Life, Politics And Human Insanity

Obama wants to raise your taxes.  Congress wants to raise your taxes.  And now, Beverly Perdue wants to get deeper into your pockets.  Her office has predicted a shortfall in this year’s budget of $4-billion to $4.5-billion.  Some argue that the deficit is only $1.1-billion, depending on how and who, is doing the math.

But, never fear, I have the answer.  I believe that taxing things that people must have is counter-productive, while taxing things that people don’t care about would be more advantageous.  For example, we shouldn’t be taxing milk and groceries, but should be taxing internet advertisers (spam).  I think it is only fair!

Here are my top 10 ways to raise revenue for the state of North Carolina.  Here are some new taxes that Beverly Perdue and the “gang of misfits” from Raleigh can enact to lessen the deficit and make a lot of people happier.

Number 10:  The Annoyance Tax.  I propose a $2.00 tax on each piece of junk mail, and a $2.00 tax on each telemarketing call made to households in North Carolina.  This alone should knock out most of the state deficit.

Number 9:  The Tattoo Tax.  If you’re stupid enough to have a “tramp stamp” or in some other way deface your body, then you should have to pay a 50% tax on how much it costs.  Removal of a “tramp stamp” should be at a 100% tax rate.

Number 8:  The Self-Serve Checkout Tax.  Most people choose the regular checkouts, while others choose to speed by everyone else and use the self-serve checkout lanes.  These people should pay 10% extra in taxes on the items they purchase.  I think that it is only fair!

Number 7:  The Bottled Water Tax.  With the quality of water we have in this country, bottle water is unnecessary and made only because it’s a moneymaker to the producers.  The sale of bottled water should be taxed at $0.25 per bottle.

Number 6:  The Games Tax.  Computer games for X-box, Nintendo and others should be taxed at 25% of the retail price.  Rentals should be taxed at a minimum of $2.00 per rental.  Computer games are useless and serve no purpose in improving the world.  Tax rates should be doubled on any person over the age of 21.

Number 5:  The Wal-Mart Fairness Tax.  Why should Wal-Mart customers pay less?  Every Wal-Mart customer should be taxed an additional 10% to make everything fair.

Number 4:  The Car Dealer Commercial Tax.  Television advertisements for car dealers are annoying and should be taxed at $100.00 for each time they are aired.  If the same commercial is broadcast within the same 15-minute segment or back-to-back, then an additional tax of $500.00 will apply.  I think that is only fair!

Number 3:  The Text Message Tax. I hate text messages and senders should be taxed at $1.00 per text message.  I really believe that is only fair!

Number 2:  The Pizza Hut Pizza & Salad Buffet Tax.  Why?   This is an intelligence tax.  If you eat there, then you should pay more.

Number 1:  The (very special) Politician Tax.  Any politician holding public office should be taxed at 50% of his or her income.  The longer they hold office, the more the tax should increase.  I believe it’s only fair; they make the rules…then they should pay more.

Martin Kozlowski